Book Review: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
In February, I reviewed Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. For leaders seeking a practical playbook on how to improve communication, turn vulnerability into a strength, cultivate trust, and become daring leaders, it’s a fantastic resource.
Check out my Dare to Lead review for key insights on:
Armored Leadership vs. Daring Leadership
Vulnerability as a Strength
BRAVING Trust
Brown's book Daring Greatly is a must-read for those looking to dive deeper into the underlying concepts of Dare to Lead and increase their self-awareness.
Brown’s approach to explaining challenging topics like shame and vulnerability is deeply human and highly actionable. Leaders can start by examining their relationship with vulnerability and how it impacts their leadership style, communication, and decision-making. Leaders can foster trust, creativity, and long-term success by embracing discomfort and creating environments where failure and uncertainty are part of the growth process.
The best part? Brown’s insights aren’t limited to leadership. Her message about the power of vulnerability applies to all areas of life—from personal relationships to societal change—making Daring Greatly a must-read for anyone looking to live more authentically and courageously.
If you choose to read this book, have a pencil handy because you’ll want to underline or take notes throughout. Until then, here are two key takeaways from Daring Greatly.
Key Concept #1: We All Experience Shame
Brown defines shame as the painful feeling of being flawed and unworthy of connection, love, and belonging. It’s a universal emotion, harmful to ourselves and destructive to others. While everyone experiences shame, it is triggered differently for each person leading to negative thinking, and fear. Shame is also linked to depression, addiction, eating disorders, violence, bullying, and aggression.
Shame also impacts leadership. Brown explains that shame stems from the fear of disconnection, which drives many defensive behaviors and prevents leaders from being vulnerable.
She makes an important distinction between shame and guilt: guilt is about behavior and can be helpful, while shame is about the self and is always destructive.
To reduce shame’s impact, one must develop shame resilience. In Daring Greatly, Brown outlines four steps to build resilience:
Recognize Shame and Its Triggers: Understand what situations or experiences cause shame and how your body and mind respond.
Practice Critical Awareness: Question societal or personal expectations that fuel shame and recognize how unrealistic they are.
Reach Out: Share your experience with someone you trust to diminish shame’s power and gain perspective.
Speak Shame: Talk openly about shame to lessen its control and help you process and overcome it.
Key Concept #2: The Vulnerability Armor
As a Mindful Leadership Coach, I help clients identify learned behaviors that no longer serve them. Many of these behaviors were adopted at a young age as a way to protect themselves from emotional or physical pain.
Brené Brown refers to these protective behaviors as “Vulnerability Armor” or “Vulnerability Shields.” Through her research, Brown identified three common shields: foreboding joy, perfectionism, and numbing.
1. Foreboding Joy
What it is: Foreboding joy is the fear that when things are going well, something bad must be around the corner. It prevents people from fully embracing joy because they’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The antidote: Gratitude is the antidote. By staying mindful and grateful for the present moment, people can experience joy without fear of future loss.
Actionable tips: Start a daily gratitude practice by writing down three things you’re thankful for. When feelings of dread creep in, consciously shift your focus to what’s going well. This breaks the cycle of fear and allows you to be present in moments of joy.
In practice: A senior executive lands a major deal that will significantly grow the company. Instead of celebrating, they immediately worry about everything that could go wrong—fearing market shifts, operational failures, or internal politics. To break this pattern, the executive can publicly acknowledge the win with their team, fostering a culture of gratitude. Starting team meetings with a “success moment” helps everyone, including the leader, focus on the positive.
2. Perfectionism
What it is: Perfectionism is the belief that by being perfect—looking perfect, behaving perfectly, and achieving perfectly—we can avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a self-destructive shield that leads to burnout and chronic feelings of inadequacy.
The antidote: Embrace self-compassion and understand that vulnerability, not perfection, fosters true connection and growth.
Actionable tips: Shift your mindset to celebrate progress over perfection. Practice self-compassion by speaking kindly to yourself when you make mistakes. Tackle projects where you permit yourself to be imperfect, focusing on learning rather than results.
In practice: A VP of marketing spends hours perfecting a presentation, afraid that even the smallest flaw will damage their credibility. This delays execution and creates a reluctance to delegate, leading to team burnout. To unlearn perfectionism, the VP can aim to deliver “good enough” projects and focus on iterative feedback rather than a flawless first attempt. Encouraging the team to share early drafts fosters a culture of progress over perfection.
3. Numbing
What it is: Numbing involves using behaviors—like overworking, overeating, or mindlessly scrolling social media—to avoid feelings of vulnerability. It disconnects us from our emotions, preventing full engagement in life.
The antidote: The antidote is leaning into discomfort and building emotional resilience. Acknowledging and processing difficult emotions reduces the need to numb them.
Actionable tips: Set boundaries to limit numbing behaviors, such as restricting screen time or work hours. Develop healthy coping strategies like journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in mindful practices when facing uncomfortable emotions.
In practice: A CEO overwhelmed by the demands of their role uses workaholism to avoid feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion. They refuse to take vacations or admit they need rest. The CEO can combat this by scheduling regular reflection time, such as weekly check-ins to assess emotional well-being and work-life balance. By modeling vulnerability and discussing the importance of rest with their leadership team, the CEO encourages a healthier work culture.
Final Thoughts
Writing an impactful and actionable review of Daring Greatly was challenging. It’s packed with so much content that narrowing down the key concepts into a blog felt nearly impossible!
That’s why I focused this article on two concepts I regularly address in my coaching practice. Normalizing shame and helping my clients reclaim their stories is powerful work. Teaching them that vulnerability is a strength and that their learned behaviors and shields are holding them back is one of the most rewarding parts of my job.
If you’re looking to become a leader who embraces vulnerability, empathy, authenticity, and courage, Daring Greatly is an essential reading. Not a reader? Check out Brené’s Netflix special, A Call to Courage!
If this review resonated with you and you’d like more insights on leadership and vulnerability, subscribe to my newsletter for regular updates, or connect with me on LinkedIn and Instagram. If you’re ready to take these concepts from theory to practice, consider partnering with a coach. Learn about the Conshy Coaching Process or schedule a complimentary discovery call to start your journey.